Your Nothing

If none of those interactions happened
Then it shouldn’t matter
The love that you once held
No longer existed.

None of the lustful skin prickling urges
None of the laughs or smiles
In moments of debauchery,
Covered up embarrassments
And grimaces when pain was inflicted,
From awe in admiration,
From tender encouragement,
From strange endearment
Jokes, sometimes taken too seriously,
Not from the pleasures
Of teasing.
No flagrant magic tricks.
Not the fiery spirals of resentment
Not the stacked card wall
Used as a barricade
That would collapse
By the slightest touch
Ushering in forgiveness.
None of the overbearing darkness
That both terrified and enchanted.
None of the wavering heart entrances.
No mystery, no wonder.
None of the questions.
None of those answers.
No battles won or lost
No misused ammunition.
Not a shred of hate or pain.
No empty promises.
No ridiculous requests.
No games
Nor ploys.
Not even
A single word.
Just nothing,
Nothing existed.

So those feelings
Shouldn’t exist anymore.

But her words remain
Her souls essence lingers
Her passion
Her love
Her beauty
It’s there
In the lines of her poetry
She’s a real person.

She just
Never spoke
Directly to me.

This ending
Makes more sense.
I was stupid for thinking
That she’d even bother looking
In my direction.