I Don’t Know

I don’t love them like you do
I don’t know if I ever will.
My heart is small
It can only love few
It’s hands don’t reach
As far as yours do.
I don’t think I’ll ever
Be able to love them
Not like you do.

It takes too much work
To love them.
Every word
Every reaction
Every action
I hear it
I hear them plead
Love me.
But I just can’t seem
To do it properly.
And it doesn’t seem to matter
That I can be just like them.

They speak
They tell me things
I listen
But they don’t know
They don’t ask
About the pain
I feel
Everyday
Because of you.
Not that I’d be able to
Tell them anyway.

Isn’t it funny
How the voices subside
The less I interact with them
The less prominent you became in my life.

I’ve seen it
That face
Of fear
Discomfort
Skepticism
Even jealousy.
They all bother me
Even if I may be able to understand it.

I thought
At least here
I could exist.
But not really.
The worst things
Don’t get written.
It isn’t safe anywhere.

I’m sorry
I couldn’t prove you wrong this time.

But you don’t know
The pain of losing you.