If

I go through motions
Looking for some sort of solution
Traveling back to the place
I thought we existed once.

Looking for something to stop
This seemingly never ending pain
Of a love that never was.

I thought about it
But I didn’t act on it
Because I’m fucking lazy,
Stupid and idiotic.

I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner
I’m sorry I couldn’t sacrifice
My purpose.

But that changed
As you gradually became
More prominent
I entertained the idea more and more
But I’d disregard it.

But I tried to see from your perspective
How would I have felt
If she had done this to me.

I’m sorry it took this long.

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